I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
