we made out on top of his cat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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