shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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