first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize