Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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