Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
