i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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