You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
