I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize