angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize