i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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