I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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