im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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