hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
