we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
