dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
