It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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