remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
