I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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