I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
