Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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