super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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