you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize