the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
