If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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