I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
