so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
