Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
