I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize