I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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