I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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