I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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