I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My bed smells like the plague
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