Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
