The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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