Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
