part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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