i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
