Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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