he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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