She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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