I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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