Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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