All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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