You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
