remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
