Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
