Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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