Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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