It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
