the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
