I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
