Less talking, more tequila
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
