just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
