i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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