no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why is there bacon in the couch?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
