Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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