awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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