so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
