I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
